NAVAL STATION NORFOLK, Va. — Petty Officer Second Class Dorothy Steenbergen knows how quickly the sparkle of the holiday season can dim.
“I didn’t know what to do,” she recalls. “It was my first Christmas without a support system, and I spent that entire day in my barracks room just incredibly sad.” She looks back on her first Christmas in Norfolk, her family far away in California. After Thanksgiving feasts and Christmas parties wind down, loneliness can linger.
“Being at home in port and knowing your family is so far away and you’re not able to be there with them, that’s the really hard part,” she adds. Steenbergen’s case is far from unique.
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“One overarching theme we do see in the 18 to 25 range is that a lot of times they feel isolated,” explains Petty Officer First Class Matthew Malloy.
Malloy works with a team of chaplains at Naval Station Norfolk who serve as a first line of defense for sailors seeking someone to listen.
“Navy chaplains have 100% confidentiality,” Malloy stresses. “There is no mandated reporting.”
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He tells me that this helps break the stigma that reaching out for help could hurt a sailor’s military career. Each command at Naval Station Norfolk has 24/7 access to a chaplain hotline.
“It is 100% acceptable at any time and any day to reach out and say, ‘I need help,’” Malloy adds. “No one is going to judge you for that.”
U.S. Department of Defense numbers released this year reveal that 17.6% of active-duty service members had some form of mental health concern for which they sought treatment. The three biggest issues they reported involved trouble adjusting, anxiety, and isolation.
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Leslie Hodge, a licensed therapist with the Navy’s Fleet and Family Support Center, hears the struggles of sailors every day.
“We have such a huge military population, so you’re surrounded and yet you feel so alone, because it’s hard to sometimes make those connections,” Hodge says. Her office offers more specialized support beyond simply lending an ear. She teaches sailors coping skills.
“We talk about healthy communication, boundaries, and how to have good relationships,” she adds.
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In recent years, News 3 has reported on the military’s push to better address the mental health needs of service members. For the Navy, it’s a year-round effort that intensifies during this season.
“We definitely focus on the holidays as well because we know that there are more triggering things that can come up around this time,” Hodge explains. For Dorothy Steenbergen, things are brighter this season.
“My wife and I went to the movies,” she shares. “Our Thanksgiving dinner was at Cinema Café, so we just do little things to try and keep busy.”
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Since her first Christmas alone in Norfolk, Steenbergen has gained a spouse. She also has a better grasp on her mental health, using lessons learned to look out for fellow young sailors.
“We’re all in this together,” she says. “It’s easier to struggle together than to struggle alone.”
If you or someone you know needs help for an immediate mental health crisis, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. The service is free, anonymous, and always open.
