NEWPORT NEWS, Va. — Shant'a Miller White will never forget the day that forever changed her family.
"I felt horrible," she tells News 3 anchor Blaine Stewart. "I felt like I failed my daughters in not being able to be there to protect them," she adds.
A bully brutally attacked her daughter on a school bus. The beating went on for 17 minutes.
"Your heart is broken when your child is suffering from something that you wish you could have protected them from," Miller-White explains.
Miller-White turned her pain into purpose. She created Parents Against Bullying, a nonprofit group working to increase education and awareness while decreasing bullying in area middle and high schools. The battle, however, extends beyond the classroom. The COVID-19 pandemic brought about a concerning spike in cyberbullying, with trauma that can live forever online.
"These children are taping these fights and different things that are happening, and they're playing it. That person that was the victim is watching it over and over again as well," Miller-White explains.
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Social media also allows kids to constantly compare themselves to their peers. That concerns people like Krystin McAdams, a licensed professional counselor with Thriveworks in Newport News.
"Feeling they're not pretty enough, or smart enough, or cool enough," she lists. "I always try to remind them that's so subjective, like what is enough? Who is enough? Because everybody has insecurities and fears."
Those insecurities can be isolating and lead to serious consequences. A report recently released reveals suicide is now the leading cause of death for 13 and 14-year-old children in the U.S. The rate more than doubled in the span of a decade.
"I think a lot of times, kids are feeling incredibly lonely," McAdams explains.
That's why she stresses communication. McAdams recommends parents talk with their children every day.
"Really sitting and having that time with your children, and not letting them just kind of give a one-word answer and then run up to their rooms," she adds.
Parents should watch for changes in behavior. Irritability, lack of motivation, falling grades, poor hygiene, and changes in eating or sleeping habits are all warning signs.
The troubling trend is also happening on the campuses of colleges and universities. Sonja Lund runs the Student-Athlete Mental Health and Well-Being Center at Old Dominion University. In the short time it's been open, Lund has seen firsthand how student-athletes can struggle.
"They do place so much pressure on themselves to do well, both academically and athletically," Lund explains.
The center provides ODU's student-athlete population with therapy and holistic services to "increase the overall well-being of student-athletes." Despite the heavy traffic coming in, there can be a reluctance for student-athletes in particular to ask for help.
"We have been trying really hard to break down that stigma," Lund adds. "It definitely is still well alive in this area."
Statistics show more help is needed on college campuses, where:
- There are approximately 1,100 deaths by suicide each year
- Suicide is the #2 leading cause of death for college students
- 25% of students know someone who has died by suicide
Those statistics hit close to home this summer. Tajh Boyd, a Liberty University and former Oscar Smith High School football player died by suicide in August.
"We have a lot of students that come in and endorsing suicidal ideation," explains Dr. Joy Himmel, director of ODU's student counseling center.
Himmel's team regularly hears from students about feelings that, if left unchecked, can lead to serious consequences. The ultimate goal, she stresses is to normalize asking for help.
"We want them to access our resources, but but we really want them to do well," Himmel adds.
Help is available if you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988. The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
