October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and one Norfolk woman who's in the Navy is sharing her story of how she overcame domestic violence.
Ashley Haines is raising awareness after leaving an abusive marriage four years ago. She says she finally found the strength to leave when her young kids witnessed the physically abuse.
"I wasn’t allowed to go to college because I wasn’t allowed to spend time away from him. I wasn’t allowed to call anyone on my way home from work, I had to ask permission to play a game on my phone," Haines said.
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Haines left the abusive marriage in 2020. She has her Associates Degree and is working on her Bachelors.
"The first time he laid his hands on me, he shoved me and I fell off of a step and my back was covered in bruises and he said it would never happen again," Haines.
She says a week after she had a surgery, her then husband attacked her after a disagreement. That was the final straw.
"Out of no where he attacked me, grabbed me by my throat and broke my airway, slammed my head against the wall. It fractured my nose and all of this happened in front of the kids," Haines said.
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She called the police and he was arrested.
Haines adopted her ex-husband’s two sons while they were married. She says she now has full custody of them.
"I needed the boys to know that behavior was not okay," Haines said.
Haines has been in the Navy for the last 15 years and now works at Naval Station Norfolk.
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Haines says Larissa Sutherland, a military domestic violence victim advocate counseled her when she finally left.
"Over the course of time, she became an empowered, strong survivor with a strong voice," Sutherland said.
Naval Station Norfolk, the largest Navy base in the world, also raising awareness and providing resources in a domestic violence awareness walk.
"It’s important for people to understand the resources they have for domestic violence. You never know what’s behind a smile or what somebody’s going through," Senior Chief Gunner's Mate Amber Smith said.
Haines says she is now engaged to a man who uplifts her. She now advocates for other survivors.
