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Woman shares violent teen dating experience and the long-lasting impact of abuse

News 3 Investigative team looks into teen dating violence
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CHESAPEAKE, Va. — You’re young, impressionable, and think you’re in love but all too often, teens in America are experiencing dating violence.

As part of our series “Lost Innocence,” the News 3 Investigative team is looking at teen dating violence.

Jazmine Smith told News 3 of the traumatic and extremely violent relationship she experienced at the hands of a man who said he loved her when she was a teen.

“He swung and punched me so hard that I hit the back wall,” said Smith.

She said during one attack, he bit her eyebrow and her face.

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Early in high school, Smith says she got straight A’s and was a determined teen.

“I didn’t have a care in the world about boys. Boys weren’t into interested in me and I definitely wasn’t interested in them,” said Smith.

But then, she met a man who was a few years older than her.

“I literally just turned 17 and he was 21,” said Smith, “I was happy that somebody thought I was pretty.”

With problems at home, she said he provided her with a place to stay. But she said the violence was unbearable.

“How can you say that you love my pretty face when you’re destroying it?” said Smith.

The CDC reports that teen dating violence is common. They say about 1 in 12 teens experience physical dating violence and girls experience higher rates of physical and sexual violence than males.

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Neisha Himes is the founder of the G.R.O.W. Foundation, a nonprofit that helps victims of domestic violence. She said people need to talk about the different kinds of red flags.

“We need to talk about the gaslighting, the control, the isolation, the love bombing,” she said.

Unhealthy, abusive, or violent relationships can have short and long-term negative effects on a developing teen, according to the CDC. They say youth who are victims of teen dating violence are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.

“That's why it's important to have the conversation about what healthy relationships look like,” said Himes.

Experts say violence in an adolescent relationship sets the stage for future relationship problems. They say to be involved in your teen's life and set a good example for a healthy relationship.

“Communication is a big thing and it's kind of difficult if the teen is seeing their parents in an unhealthy relationship,” said Himes.

Smith said she tried several times to get away from her abuser even when she joined the military.

“Putting on that military uniform intimidated him so much and the arguments were endless,” said Smith.

She was eventually able to leave but said the long-lasting impact of the abuse affected her into adulthood.

If you need help, the following resources are available: