HAMPTON ROADS, Va. — A few years ago, Michelle was at the height of her game with a career in the broadcasting and radio industry.
Following the death of her mother, she met a man through church, and he was also in the military. She said he came around at the right time.
"He knew everything to say. And was giving me gifts and flowers," Michelle said. "I thought, 'wow', I was very impressed."
But Michelle said things started to change after a while.
"He asked me not to work anymore," she said. "So I was like, 'Oh, great.' I get to stay home boys and everything."
Then he became controlling, she said.
"I couldn't do a lot of things," she said. "He always said, 'I love you, I'm doing this because I love you.' And I believed him."
Michelle expressed a desire to get out and do things, and eventually, she was allowed to do so.
But things didn't get any better.
"I'd have to look down at the floor," she said. "He didn't want me giving men the wrong impression. If I made eye contact that was giving them the wrong impression."
She would even have to ask for money to go grocery shopping.
However, she did end up paying.
Physically.
"I paid with beatings," she said. "The first time he hit me was with his belt buckle. It was on my back."
Michelle said her children would go with their father—he was not the abuser—on the weekends.
She told News 3's Jay Greene that she's often asked why she didn't leave.
"I was scared that he would kill me. He threatened to kill me. He started to kill my kids. He threatened to kill my family. He had me dependent on him," Michelle said. "He was like, 'I'm your family now. They're not your family. You trust me.' And being in that environment and being told something like that every single day. You believe it."
The story doesn't end there.
Michelle got out.
She got help.
She found the HER Shelter, which helped her financially and kept her safe for several months.
"They had classes inside the shelter that I took. They helped me get a job again in order to get an apartment," she told Greene. "In fact, they helped fund that apartment for six months so I could continuously get money and be able to start paying the rent and be able to furnish you know and that was the other thing."
HER Inc. on Sunday held a bowling fundraiser, raising more than $4,400 to help survivors like Michelle. HER stands for Help and Emergency Response.
"It put furniture, pots and pans, in my first apartment," she said. "And that Christmas, I was able to give my children Christmas because of them."
She shares her story to help those who might be going through similar situations.
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"It's the voice of others who are afraid to come forward. A lot of us don't want to talk about it. Just too painful," she said. "And then there are those who didn't make it out. And they can't. So that's why I do what I do and I talk."
Michelle's message to others is to reach out for help before it's too late.
"You leave everything behind and you have to start over, and starting over when you have nothing and nobody to run to and nowhere to go—I mean that is very scary," Michelle said.
Michelle said there is hope and she is the living proof. She's now married and is enjoying life.
"I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't but I am and I'm so glad," she said. "Don't give up. Keep crawling until you're walking. And once you walk in, you'll know and then you run and don't ever look back."
HER's 24-hour hotline can be reached at 757-485-3384.
