CHESAPEAKE, Va. — Valentine's Day doesn't need to be about embracing a partner. It can be about embracing yourself, especially for survivors of assault and domestic violence.
Da Firma Training Center in Chesapeake is run by husband-and-wife team Hiede and Ricardo Tubbs.
Throughout the week the two instructors teach jujitsu to children and adults. Hiede also teaches women's only self-defense classes, where she's built a special bond with many of her pupils, some of whom are survivors of emotional and physical abuse, just like her.
"My previous boyfriend attempted to kill me," she said. "There was one time where he ripped the steering wheel out of my hands to try and make me crash into a concrete wall. It was most definitely a pretty scary situation."
After enduring a period of physical and emotional abuse, she walked away.
However, Tubbs acknowledges that sometimes the idea of walking out is easier said than done.
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violencereports that every minute in the U.S. there are about 20 people physically abused by an intimate partner.
In Virginia, the non-profit known as Samaritan House reports that numbers have remained constant year after year. In 2020, for example, there were more than 500 homicides, half of which Samaritan House says were committed by an intimate partner.
Coach Heide is also an advocate against domestic violence here in Virginia and believes the numbers are severely underreported because of shame.
"The person next to you might be a victim or a survivor you won't even know it," she said.
Michelle, one of Heide's students, who is also a survivor, said the class has helped her overcome trauma reflected in some of the techniques taught.
"There's certain moves that had triggered me and reminded me of what I had gone through but with Heide, we were able to work through anything that came up," Michelle said.
Coach Heide said, in her class, self-defense requires learning the technique as well as self-love.
"What we teach is you are worth defending. Your life is valuable. Your life is just as valuable as mine, but if I have to choose in a situation, I'm always going to choose me," Heidi said.
