CHESAPEAKE, Va. — Witnessing brutal beatings, intense rage and screaming in your home as a child can have long-lasting effects.
The News 3 investigative Team is exploring what happens when kids witness violence in the home.
Santina Proctor said she had a love-hate relationship with her mom’s boyfriend, the man she called dad, until her mom passed away when Proctor was 7 years old.
“Sometimes he was nice and sometimes he was not nice, so it’s definitely a love-hate relationship,” said Proctor.
Proctor said she witnessed his explosive temper towards her mom. She said she saw him smash her head into a glass table, kick her down the steps, stomp her and hit her in the head.
While Proctor wasn’t on the receiving end of the abuse, witnessing it left her with emotional scars long into adulthood.
“For so long, I had the mentality that I’m not going to let anybody hurt me,” said Proctor.
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Domestic Violence Services, Inc. reports that 5 million children witness domestic violence each year in the United States. Experts say these kids can suffer from PTSD and are much more likely to experience significant short and long-term psychological problems.
Neisha Himes is the founder of the G.R.O.W. Foundation, a nonprofit that works to help survivors of domestic violence.
“They (children who witness domestic violence) may be suffering from depression, anxiety, and stress,” said Himes.
She said they can also have an increased risk of suicidal ideations and substance abuse issues, among other problems.
Experts say children who witness domestic violence have a greater chance of repeating the pattern of abuse in adulthood.
“They are more likely to become perpetrators of abuse themselves or become victims themselves,” said Himes.
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Proctor said for years, she was a people-pleaser and an overachiever, and didn’t realize she was self-sabotaging.
“It was getting dangerous for me. I was present, but I really wasn’t present. I was here, but I’m not here... I went to a healing retreat and it changed my life,” she said.
She’s since written a book called: "It's Already Yours, Go Get It." She said she used her faith in God to overcome challenges.
Today, she has a warning for other parents: “To the people that are being abused now that have children, your child knows what is happening. You are not doing them any favors staying in an abusive relationship,” said Proctor.
She admits leaving is very hard, but she says it's worth it.
She said the following about leaving: “You will probably be uncomfortable, but you will be alive, and you will probably save a lot of money on therapy for you and your children."
If you need help, the following resources are available:
