NORFOLK, Va. — For many children, online gaming is a source of fun. On many of those games, they are interacting with countless strangers, and there’s no way to know if their fellow players are adult predators taking aim at abusing, manipulating, or luring a child away from home.
“Never in a million years thought that she would have been somebody that that would happen to,” said a Virginia father whose daughter was lured several states away by a predator she met in a multi-player online game a few years ago. “We couldn’t believe it […] that she would be able to be basically groomed the way she was.”
News 3 has chosen not to identify the father to protect his daughter’s identity, but he shared his perspective with us to warn other parents about the dangers of online gaming.
“Check every device,” he said while expressing gratitude that authorities were able to find his daughter and bring her back to Virginia. “The kids are going to hate you, but you have to do it for their safety.”
A man is now serving a three-decade-long prison sentence for the production of child sexual abuse material in the Virginia girl’s case.
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“We know it’s going on, and unfortunately, it’s happening more and more,” said Scott Zmudzinski, the Assistant Special Agent in Charge in the Norfolk Office of the FBI. “We'll stop at nothing to find a missing child and bring justice to those who are involved.”
According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s CyberTipline, reports of overall online enticement increased by more than 300% in the last few years—to nearly 190,000 reports in 2023.
“Online enticement is, in fact, a phenomenon that we have seen and grapple with in our missing child cases,” said Leemie Kahng-Sofer with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. “There are adults on these platforms who are there specifically to meet children.”
Kahng-Sofer pointed to their research that indicates gaming sites are the third most used by adults to speak with children online, after social media sites and messenger apps.
I asked Lisa Plaggemier with the National Cybersecurity Alliance why sexual predators use online games to lure children.
“Why do robbers rob the bank? Because that's where the money is. That's where the children are,” she said. “Military people would call it psychological operations. [Predators] are there looking for victims that are emotionally vulnerable. Show me a middle schooler that isn't emotionally vulnerable.”
“They're figuring out, 'Am I valuable to other people? Am I handsome? Am I beautiful?'” said LaShonda Carson, a licensed clinical social worker and program director at the Samaritan House in Virginia Beach. Samaritan House is a nonprofit that helps people free themselves from domestic and sexual violence, human trafficking, and homelessness.
Carson said unchecked and unlimited time gaming can put children in the crosshairs of a predator.
“There's potential for someone else having access to your children all night, instead of you,” said Carson. “Folks that are exploiting children on gaming systems or online, they use the same exploitative measures of any other predator.”
Carson said predators will try to gain the child’s trust through conversations on the game, and eventually move the communication to phones or messaging platforms. She said there are warning signs a child may be in distress.
“When there [are] changes in their demeanor, when they are more withdrawn, they're staying on their gaming system, all morning, all night, sometimes overnight, not sleeping, [when there’s] increased anxiety, increased depression […] something's happening with that child,” Carson said.
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Carson encourages parents to engage in the games with their child to bond—and to be on the lookout for any odd communication.
“While [the child is] gaming, you're doing your work in the background or listening in on some of the conversations,” said Carson, who also encouraged parents to keep an open and empathetic line of communication with their children so they’re not afraid of being punished if they tell you someone’s trying to take advantage of them online.
Plaggemier agreed with monitoring your child’s online gaming activity, adding, “Make sure they're gaming in a part of your house where you can supervise them.”
She added, “Maybe not with [their] headphones [on]. Maybe you want to be able to hear some of those conversations that are going on.”
Plaggemier said parents should make sure the games’ parental controls are turned on.
“I think their safety is far more important than that privacy,” she said.
If you suspect a child is being harmed online, you can report it to the CyberTipline or call 1-800-THE-LOST. You can also reach out to the Samaritan House crisis line at 757-430-2120.
Brianna Lanham contributed to this story.
