HAMPTON ROADS, Va. – The painfully familiar scenes of school shootings are playing out across the country –this time at a private Christian school in Nashville, Tennessee. Six people were killed, including three children who were all nine years old.
Hampton Roads is not immune.
In January, Newport News police raced to Richneck Elementary School after they said a six-year-old intentionally shot and seriously hurt his teacher.
In the wake of that shooting, NNPS parents like Suzanne Turner, were doing their best to ease anxiety in their children and talk about what happened.
“If he’s okay, we’re okay,” Turner said. “We don’t bring it up. If he brings up, then we’ll talk about it.”
That’s one way mental health experts say you could approach the conversation.
Psychologist Dr. O'Shan Gadsden, who’s also an associate professor and chairman of Hampton University’s Psychology Department, said ask open-ended questions to get a better idea of how deep the discussion should be.
“Questions about what he, or she, or they feel; what she, or he, or they have heard,” said Gadsden.
Gadsden said it’s crucial to let them know it’s okay to talk about their feelings.
“You have to also create an atmosphere where you are not being graphic, or scaring the child, or triggering the child emotionally,” he said.
After a traumatic event, licensed professional counselor Kurt Hooks suggests paying attention to your child’s behavior – if they’re sad, anxious, or withdrawn – and know when to stop talking.
“Even if things seem okay but maybe something seems a little off, just be on the ready and be ready to listen most of all,” said Hooks, the CEO of Virginia Beach Psychiatric Center.
Mental health professionals said parents can start having these tough conversations with their children as young as three years old.
Dr. O'Shan Gadsden said another way to get a better idea of how children are feeling is having them write in a journal or draw, and don’t be afraid to have a counselor help them work through their emotions.
