NEWPORT NEWS, Va. — The woman involved in Friday's officer involved shooting in Newport News said her former boyfriend wasn't trying to hurt anyone, instead wanted to take his own life.
Michelle Ellers said David Noteboom had been dealing with mental health problems for some time, and she just wanted him to get some help.
"He should have gotten help, and I feel like too many people with mental problems just don't get the chance to get help," Ellers said. "He wasn't trying to harm anybody but himself."
Watch previous coverage: 'I keep having nightmares': Former girlfriend says man shot by NN police needed help
Ellers said Noteboom's mental health was taking a toll on her own health, and she decided to end their relationship in hopes he would seek professional help.
On Friday, what started as a wellness check escalated into what police believe was a hostage situation.
The officers were there to perform a wellness check and serve the man involved in the incident Thursday with an arrest warrant issued out of Chesapeake.
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Police say they made multiple attempts to contact those within the residence by phone and PA system, but no one answered, according to the release. Officers say the front door was open and they made multiple requests for those within to exit, but no one came out.
Police say that they then heard a woman "screaming and yelling in distress," according to a release. Believing her to be in danger, the NNPD team went into the residence, where they saw a man and woman allegedly in a violent struggle, and the man was holding a weapon.
Ellers said Noteboom had the gun pointed at himself in an attempt to take his own life, but police said the gun was pointed at officers.
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An officer fired striking the man who later died from his injuries.
"He's never even going to get a chance to try make his freaking life better like he didn't get a chance to do that," Ellers said.
Mental health experts say it can be difficult to get loved ones to open up about what they're going through but it's important to remind them they're not alone.
Watch previous coverage: Man killed in NNPD officer involved shooting on Davis Park Drive: Police
"There are people who love and care about them even when they don't know how to show it," Danyell Collins-Facteau, with Thriveworks in Virginia Beach, said.
Collins-Facteau said friends and family who maybe are concerned for loved ones should look out for the not so obvious signs.
"Maybe withdrawing from family and friends or giving away important possessions, saying goodbye to friends and families," Collins-Facteau said. "There's lots of warning signs that exist that could open the doors a little bit to lending some type of support."
She said each city in Hampton Roads has a Community Service Board with a designated Emergency Services department or Crisis Response Team.
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They operate 24/7 and could help people speak with a professional if someone is experiencing mental distress.
"We do suggest to avoid leaving someone alone, someone who is experiencing suicidal ideation," Collins-Facteau said. "We also suggest avoiding kind of that negative or dismissive language about depression, mental health or suicidal ideation because that can be really escalating."
Collins-Facteau said those looking for resources on mental health can contact NAMI Coastal Virginia at (757) 499 - 2041.
Those who maybe experiencing a mental health crisis or suicidal thoughts can also call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
